Live Transcript: The McDonald’s Experience of a Lifetime.

The McDonald’s Experience of a Lifetime.
-Live transcript of Not Larry during the 2023 Arctic Winter Games in Fort McMurray, Wood Buffalo.

When I was coming out of Mac Island I saw three people walking. One of them was wearing a jacket from Nunavut. I was going to turn towards home, but the people I saw were walking past the Morrison Center. I started thinking to myself, ‘Why are they walking? I have an empty car right now.’ It’s cold outside, so I pulled over. All my seats were down and the car was cleaned out. I asked them if they needed a ride. They said, “Yeah!” I asked them where they were going. They said, “We’re going to McDonald’s.” They said that it was just a couple of blocks. I said, “I’ll give you a ride to McDonald’s, but it’s more than a couple of blocks.” They got into the car. It was a boy, a girl, and their teacher. When they were comfortably seated in the warmth, the boy said, “You’re an angel.” I asked, “Where are you guys from?” The boy said, “We’re from Nunavut.” They came to Fort McMurray to volunteer for the Arctic Winter Games.

They gave me their full names. I could not pronounce them, but I got them written down. (The boy, Mark Eetuk, 17. The girl, Cady Shimout, 16. Their teacher, Glen Brocklebank.) The kids said that they had never been to McDonald’s before. I had not realized this when they said they were going to go to McDonald’s. I asked them where they were staying in town. Glen, their teacher, said they were staying at the Palmeroy Hotel. Mark asked, “Couldn’t you give us a ride home after the McDonald’s?” Glen said, “Ah, leave her alone… We’ll walk back.” I said, “No. Absolutely, I’ll drive you home. And, I’m going to buy your McDonald’s because this is a fun experience for everyone.”

When we got to the McDonald’s parking lot I asked, “Do you guys want to go inside or do you want to go through the drive-thru?” Cady said, “I want to go through the drive-thru. I’ve never been through a drive-thru before.” She was extremely excited to do that. When we got there, I put the window down and let them scream out whatever they wanted at the lady at the other side of the intercom.

First I said to Mark, “Okay, you order.” He said he wanted chicken nuggets and a Big Mac. The lady on the intercom asked, “How many chickens nuggets?” He said, “A lot.” I had to explain that he had to choose four, six, or ten. Then, because he asked for the Big Mac, the intercom lady asked him, “Do you want a meal?” I explained that a ‘meal’ comes with fries and a Pepsi. He said, “Okay, I’ll have fries and a Pepsi.” Intercom lady asked, “What size?” He was so confused. I explained the sizes. He said, “Large fries.” Intercom lady said, “We only have Coke.” He said, “Oh! I’ll have that!”

Then I said to Cady, “It’s your turn. You have to yell at her at the intercom.” She had no idea what she could get and she was really really excited. She said, “I’m having whatever he’s having…but no pickles.” I said, “Yeah, because pickles are terrible.” The lady asked, “Would you like a meal?” Cady said, “Yes, I’d like a meal.” The lady asked, “What would you like to drink?” Cady said, “No coke, I’ll have Dr. Pepper.” The lady said, “We don’t have Dr. Pepper do you want a Sprite?” “Okay!” Cady said, “I’ll have that!”

Then, as we went around to the window to pick up our order, Cady said, “I can’t believe I ordered through the machine…”

It was sooooo good to experience that with them…

The three of them ordered $62 worth of McDonald’s. The teacher was going to pay but I wanted to get it for them. On the way back to the hotel, Glen explained that a lot of the kids from the far north have never actually been to places like McDonald’s. He said that when then went to Boston Pizza last night, the kids did not know what an ‘app’ was as in ‘appetizer.’ So, that was really exciting for them too. Before we got to the hotel, Mark asked me, “This, uh, Showgirls, back there, is it a strip club?” I said, “Yeah, it is a strip club.” He had lots of questions about that.

I brought them back to the Palmeroy Hotel. And then I gave a guy from the Pomeroy Hotel a ride up to the Ramada. Why not?

It was the best trip to McDonald’s I’ve ever had.